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US Barnaby Moose and the Great 50-State Sandwich
Once upon a time, deep in the piney woods of Maine, there lived a moose named Barnaby.
Barnaby was very large, very clumsy, and very hungry. He had antlers so wide that he often got stuck in doorways, and a nose so squishy it made a honk-shoo sound when he sneezed.
One Tuesday, Barnaby looked at his breakfast of twigs and moss.
"Boring," Barnaby grunted. "I want a sandwich. But not just any sandwich. I want the Greatest Sandwich in America!"
So, Barnaby packed his tiny suitcase (mostly full of napkins), put on his coolest sunglasses, and began to trot south.
Stop 1: The Big Apple (New York) 🍎
Barnaby arrived in New York City. He had never seen so many tall buildings! He looked up and saw a giant green lady holding a torch.
"Excuse me, ma'am!" Barnaby yelled to the Statue of Liberty. "Are you going to toast a giant marshmallow with that fire? Can I have some?"
She didn't answer (she was very focused on being statue-y), so Barnaby tried to take the subway.
CRUNCH. His left antler hit the turnstile.
BONK. His right antler hit the ticket booth.
SQUISH. He accidentally sat on a pigeon’s park bench. (The pigeon was not amused).
Barnaby decided to walk instead. He grabbed a Bagel as big as his hoof. "This is the bread for my sandwich!" he cheered.
Stop 2: The Windy City (Chicago) 🌭
Barnaby trotted all the way to the Midwest. The wind blew so hard in Chicago that Barnaby’s ears flapped like flags! Flap-flap-flap!
He found a hot dog stand. "I’ll take one pickle, please!" Barnaby said politely. The hot dog vendor looked at the giant moose. "Buddy, you can have the whole jar."
Barnaby put the giant pickle on his bagel. Now he had Bread and a Pickle. But he needed more!
Stop 3: The Big Cornfields (Nebraska)
url("https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t1c/1/16/1f33d.png"); background-size: 16px 16px; cursor: default; white-space-collapse: preserve;">🌽Barnaby walked through miles and miles of corn. He thought the cornstalks were people.
"Hello! Nice hair!" he said to a stalk of corn. "Lovely weather!" he said to another. "Why are you all ignoring me?"
Finally, a friendly farmer gave him a giant scoop of Corn Relish. "For the sandwich!" Barnaby shouted. He balanced the relish on the pickle, on the bagel, on his nose.
Stop 4: The Lone Star State (Texas) 🤠
By the time Barnaby hit Texas, he was sweating. He needed something spicy. He found a cowboy eating barbeque.
"Howdy partner!" Barnaby tried to say, but it came out as "MOOOOOOO-dy partner!" because he was a moose.
The cowboy laughed and tossed him a giant, spicy Jalapeño pepper. Barnaby caught it in his teeth. CHOMP. Suddenly, steam shot out of Barnaby’s ears like a train whistle! WOOO-WOOO! It was the perfect spicy kick for the Great American Sandwich.
Stop 5: The Sunny Coast (California) 🏖️
Finally, Barnaby reached the ocean. He saw surfers riding the waves. He saw palm trees. He saw... Avocados!
He squished a ripe, green avocado right on top of his tower of food.
Barnaby sat on the warm sand of the beach. He looked at his masterpiece:
A New York Bagel
A Chicago Pickle
Nebraska Corn Relish
A Texas Jalapeño
A California Avocado
He opened his giant moose mouth. He took a massive bite. CRUNCH. SLURP. MUNCH.
"Mmm," Barnaby smiled, getting crumbs all over his fur. "It tastes like... adventure."
And then, because he was very full and very happy, Barnaby fell asleep right there on the beach, snoring his funny moose snore (Honk-shoo! Honk-shoo!), dreaming of where to go for dessert.
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url("https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/tc6/1/16/1f680.png"); background-size: 16px 16px; cursor: default; white-space-collapse: preserve;">🚀 Barnaby Moose: MoonwalkerBarnaby Moose, with his nose so wide, Decided to take a rocket ship ride! He squeezed in his tummy, he tucked in his knees,
"I'm going to the Moon to find some cheese!"
3 - 2 - 1... BLAST OFF! He zoomed past the stars, He waved at Venus and honked at Mars. But when he landed and stepped on the ground, He bounced like a bunny—boing all around!
His antlers got stuck in a satellite dish, He floated and swam like a big jelly-fish. He licked a moon rock, but it tasted like dust, "Oh dear," said the Moose, "This trip is a bust!"
"No cheddar? No swiss?" He scratched at his head, "I think I'll go home for some pizza instead."
So he hopped in his ship and flew back to town, The only astronaut Moose to ever touch down. And if you look up at the moon in the night, You might see his hoofprints, sparkling bright!
Thank you very much for your valuable time.
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